Over the past few months I have dipped my toes into the depths of mindfulness and NVC (nonviolent communication). Graduate school now has me fully immersed in it.
It has changed my life immeasurably. Rebirth is the only word that comes close to being apt enough in expressing just how much it has changed me.
In just the last week alone I have felt monumental change from within. The kind of change I have been working to achieve for at least 12 years (and, although passively, for my entire life). The road is long and I am only at the beginning, a thought which only brings me more happiness.
In the last few weeks I have worked on observing myself. Truly observing my emotions as they happen. Observing my reactions. I have learned to connect my feelings with the innate needs that instigate them (a challenge I will spend a lifetime trying to perfect).
All of this observation and reflection has informed me about parts of myself I never knew existed. Learning about and beginning the practice of NVC and mindfulness has led to an indescribable serenity that I have never found in my life. I have been serene. I have been at peace. But never have I found such depth and breadth of each. Never have I truly experienced each during periods of difficulty or trauma.
This post serves as a reminder to me. It reminds me to have courage. For when I have courage and open myself I get what I need. It reminds me of the glorious weeks in my life when I truly found myself. It reminds me of the love and support so many can, and do, provide. It reminds me of a great many things.
Things to remember (notes from my reflective journal):
1) Emotions are what they are. There are no good or bad emotions. (Thanks Anne)
2) SLOW DOWN
3) That which meets the most human needs is what comes closest to truth.
4) I am responsible for my feelings and needs.
5) I can’t control my waves of emotion. The waves aren’t bad. I CAN learn to surf them better. (Thank you for this one Kathy)
6) Holding others responsible for my feelings and needs as well as having limited strategies to meet those needs puts ourselves in a straightjacket voluntarily.
– Connor, Jane; Killian Diane. Connecting Across Differences
7) Viewing the world through a “right or wrong” lens negates the complexity of life and full human experience.
8) If you say no and I am OK with that answer, it is a request. If you say no and I’m not OK with that answer, it is a demand.
– Rosenburg, Marshall Nonviolent Communication
9) Emotion does not indicate weakness or vulnerability.
10) Feelings cannot be fixed. They are our lifeblood and bring awareness of being fully alive.
11) Hold all needs as valuable
12) Needs are intrinsic and intangible. Strategies are specific and tangible.
13) Self acceptance requires that we accept our choices and hold our needs as valuable.
14) No one’s behavior can make me feel anything.
Thank you for allowing me the space to share. It feels absolutely marvellous to have found the strategies and awareness necessary to discover so much about myself. I feel doubly pleased to be able to share it with you.
May you be happy and at ease whenever and wherever this may find you.